Eris Jackson and the Lightening thief
by scrufmcneil
Summary: Featuring a more sarcastic and street smart fem!percy who won't take shit from anyone. Follows main plot but there may be more changes as it goes on. No pairings until later books. M because future gore? It might just be because I'm paranoid.


**Disclaimer: The Percy Jackson series belong to Rick Riordan.**

 **A/N This is my first attempt at a fanfic. Any constructive criticism is welcomed. Also, I'm sorry I'm aware that this chapter is a bit short. Future Chapters should be longer. Updates won't be massively frequent but I'm going to try for 1 update a month at the least.**

My name is Eris Artemis Jackson.

Sometimes I wonder how many drinks my parents had when they named me...Really, not only did they name me after two Goddesses, they named me after a maiden Goddess and a Goddess of Strife and Discord. I mean thanks for giving me a unique name and all but the only bloody thing this name has given me is a lot of strange looks and a hella lot of mispronunciation. How could you possibly think naming your kid Eris was a good idea? Granted, not many people have heard of her but still. The Goddess of Strife. And Discord. Bad things. People don't like conflict or bitter arguments. Did you expect me to be a bitch when I was older or something? Or maybe I was an accident so they named me after a 'bad goddess' as pay back for my many sins. Please note the sarcasm. Unfortunately, I can't say I haven't lived up to my title though. I've been kicked out of a couple thousand schools and I'm practically famous for the amount of back talking I do – My troublemaking title is one I'd wouldn't give up for anything though. Eris Jackson, Creator of mischief; has a nice ring to it don't you think? Also, Artemis? Could you have picked two goddesses which were more different? I'm surprised they didn't try and name me Eris Harmonia Jackson. Artemis is known for being a great and holy goddess of virginity and animals who kinda hates men. If she were real she'd probably kill me just for being named after her because I don't plan on being forever a maiden. Yeah, that came out as weirdly as I expected. Let me re-phrase that I mean like guys are dicks, but I ain't forever swearing of interacting with them just because of that. Apart from all of those downsides to my name, Eris is a pretty cool name I guess. And maybe if I find someone who has actually heard of her I can give them a death glare and they might actually believe I am her…

Brilliant, I can't even introduce myself without sounding crazy. Let's start again…

Hello, my name is Eris Artemis Jackson, I'm 14 years old, most people I meet dislike my clear disrespect for authority figures, I live with my Mum and Stepdad in a small house in the middle of New York and I always carry a pocket knife and a lighter around to protect myself Ancient Greek monsters. You think I'm joking? Well I'm not. And if you can believe that I am then good for you, try to keep it that way. As soon as I realised that the bloody things were real the amount of them I encountered increased rapidly. I had previously thought they were figments of my imagination, another thing to add to my list of abnormalities. But then one of the little bastards managed to give me a really nasty cut on my leg. Which left a scar (pretty cool one luckily), which I can say I'm absolutely certain is real. Only one other monster has actually managed to maim me after that lovely realisation, I decided to train with that little pocket knife. And I bought a couple of throwing knives, they have served me very well but I have to hide them because if my mum finds them she'd go crazy. Despite what my mum seems to think, I'm not actually an idiot. One tends to notice that they aren't normal when they can control water whenever they get panicked, the mysterious accidents where monsters try and kill me, or when that said person can somehow breathe underwater. Actually there's a funny story behind how I found out about that…maybe for another time though. She tried her best to make sure I didn't realise that monsters were after me, and always tried to convince me what I saw wasn't real, which I can appreciate I guess -it worked until I was about 9 so it saved me a couple extra years without monsters. But as I got older I found that apparently she's not a great liar.

Of course, with my knowledge, I was bound to be wary of nearly everything. So you can understand why I was on edge during our amazing school trips. Again, please note the sarcasm. I can always rely on school trips in Yancy Academy to somehow go wrong. Whether its monster related or not. Because taking 28 mentally challenged, overly rich and arrogant kids on a school trip, which involves a three hour journey in a confined bus couldn't possibly go wrong. I still wonder why the hell the headteacher hadn't just given up and banned us from school trips altogether. It started off alright, I mean, Nancy Bobofit was throwing food at the back of Grover's head for a while but she stopped when I glared at her. She'd been terrified of me ever since I socked her in the face for emptying her lunch over Grover. The detention, has been completely worth it. Grover is my best friend, well only friend actually… He moved to Yancy Academy this year and I kinda took him under my wing. He's a tad scrawny and he has this weird leg condition that means can't walk. Anyway he was being picked on so I helped out. Who could've known the easiest way to make a friend was beating a loada juvenile delinquents up? People still pick on him and all, but usually when I'm not around. He was part of the reason I didn't want to mess up on this trip. I was already on probation and if I got expelled then Grover would be stuck all alone next year. And I honestly doubt that he could survive a week without me in this crazy school. So yes, I was determined that nothing would go wrong.

I cursed it. Because whilst nothing went wrong before lunch, shit happened afterwards. I had been on my best behaviour throughout the entire bus journey, and the tour of the museum that Mr Brunner had given us. I hadn't even got distracted or fidgety despite the fact that I knew everything that Mr Brunner was saying already. My mum, it appears, has about the same level of obsession with Greek myths with Mr Brunner. She had quite an obsession with Poseidon though…And she always stresses that my Dad was 'lost' at sea. Not dead. I'm starting to think that she's given herself the illusion that my dad was a sea God. I mean, I may have strange sea powers, but seriously. Maybe the dude was so good in bed that she thought he was a God. Okay, I might be sick, I really shouldn't have thought about my conception. Oh look how far off topic I went…I do that an awful lot…maybe it's aside affect to the ADHD. Ugh, yep, I definitely didn't get distracted at all.

Anyway, note how I said nothing went wrong until lunch. Lunch did not go to well. First thing that went wrong was the fact that Mr Brunner called me back to talk to him. He gave me this disappointed look and told me how what he taught me was 'vitally important so I had better treat it as such.' And telling me how he would 'only accept the best from me.' Saying that wasn't a great idea. The audacity of that man. Implying that I wasn't trying hard enough. Excuse me, but I work my fucking ass of every day. I'm getting above C's in all of my subjects apart from a D in English. I have dyslexia. And ADHD. What more do you want from me!? I've already achieved grades which were meant to be impossible based on my 'conditions.' I mean, I'd been getting A's in your damn subject for the whole year. The only thing I did was not know why Kronos eating his children is important in real life. Why is he even teaching us about Greeks? He's a freaking Latin teacher! And I told him such. He was pretty damn taken aback, he looked like I had just slapped him across the face or something. I mean I was pretty shocked as well, I had been trying to stay calm during the trip. I'm starting to wonder if I also have to add anger management issues to my steadily growing list of problems. I probably should have calmed myself down before going to lunch, all I needed was a minute and everything could've been fine. But alas, I didn't. I stormed furiously off straight to lunch to meet with Grover. Who understandably gulped when he saw how pissed off I was. I may be small, but I have quite the temper. So when Grover and I sat down to eat lunch, with me trying to burn holes into Mr Brunner's back with my eyes, and Nancy Bobofit decided to come and bother us, I obviously was not in the mood. And when she tipped the contents of her lunch, onto Grover's lap I was absolutely furious. I didn't punch her in the face like last time though, which probably would have been the wiser option. Instead I accidentally let my fabulous water powers go wild and dragged her into the fountain. Conveniently forgetting that monsters where already attracted to me without me going water crazy.

It of course ended up getting me a private conversation with the lovely Mrs Dodds who finally decided to show her inner fury. That pun, was completely intended. I was of course absolutely livid, because firstly; I had just gone through Mr Brunner and Nancy Bobofit. Secondly: I hadn't even noticed that a fury had been hiding in my school since bloody Christmas. And thirdly: How dare that vile creature accuse me of stealing some weird ass thing I'd never heard of and then be arrogant enough to think that it could actually kill me. I met a couple furies 2 years back, when I was on the way home after school. They're a pain in the ass but killing them is pretty easy, all you need is a pocket knife, a plastic bag, and a brain. Well that's all I need at least. I've met a lot of monsters in my few years; first time being when I was 7 and a random one eyed dude chased me around New York for a couple of hours. I covered him in petrol and threw a match at him. You gotta be resourceful and I can tell you, there's a hella lot of petrol stations near where I live…What'd I tell you about going off topic? What I'm trying to say is that I have plenty of experience with monsters so I just killed it like normal and everyone forgot that Mrs Dodds exists, like normal. So it should be fine right? I can just go back to my slightly messed up life and the world will move on.

That's what should have happened. Only with my luck, it didn't. I ran into Mr Brunner on the way back to lunch. And unsurprisingly, I looked like I had just fought with a fury. My hair was a mess, I was sweating and I was a bit pale from the shock of discovering that I hadn't noticed a monster hiding in the skin of my maths teacher. The annoying thing was that the guy definitely did not act the way I expected. Oh sure, he did the usual, 'Are you alright Eris you don't look too well,' stuff that all teachers are obliged to do. But he didn't give me a detention for getting in a fight, like most normal teachers. He just looked at me worriedly once more before hurrying of to God knows where. And then he proceeded to give me strange glances throughout the rest of the day! And then when I got back from the bathroom, Mr Brunner and Grover were guardedly talking to each other and they very unskilfully changed the conversation when they saw me. Since that Grover also started looking at me really strangely and acting all suspicious like he knew something. Whatever Mr Brunner did tell him had obviously put him on edge. Which was ridiculous because I always ended up having some stupid conversation with a teacher. It was expected of me. Especially after I 'pushed' Nancy into the fountain. And I had cleaned myself up before I went back to lunch. Which was almost over goddamn it stupid bloody furies wasting my time so I couldn't eat. I was right about him knowing something though. All I had to do was mention Mrs Dodds and I could tell something was wrong. Most people would've looked at me like I was an idiot. But Grover, bless his soul, is the worst liar I have ever met. He tried tell me that I was crazy, but he kept stuttering. He also kept sharing glances with Mr Brunner when he thought I didn't notice. What is it with all these people thinking I'm oblivious? Also as far as I could tell Grover and my Latin teacher have had no relation to each other or any bloody reason to share stupid worried glances over my bloody head. I mean they did both come to Yancy Academy at the start of this year, and I may try to avoid being overly paranoid but damn if there is anything that'll help me indicate why the two of them look like they could know about that fury then I'm going to need any information I can get. This is not a case of curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back. This is a case of; find out what you can because if you don't then I will die of not knowing and will forever hate myself.

And then. After all that suspicious stare-y crap. They decided to talk about weird ass shit behind my back. How do I know this? Well when I happen to be notorious trouble maker and eavesdropper, and when I am curious or suspicious there is no way for you to say something without me listening in. And then. I heard some weird stuff about solstices and them thinking I might die and now I'm just even more bloody curious. Also, I don't know where they're from - because I have concluded that they must know each other and that they certainly ain't from 'round here – but they call furies 'kindly ones' so I have now also concluded that wherever it is, everyone there must be batshit crazy. Because seriously, how can you call a fury kind. I mean unless they worship Hades and furies and they're all out to kill me. Maybe I've been watching too many conspiracy theories…Anyway I'm still feeling betrayed by them. I mean I trusted them and they would betray my sacred trust by worshipping devil bat human crossbreeds and trying to conspire for my sacrifice for Hades! Okay, definitely too many conspiracy theories…I'm not actually that dumb by the way. I am allowed to feel betrayed by them talking behind my back though so if they somehow ended up being submitted to a final week full of vicious pranks then it was their own bloody fault. I'm still pissed off at them. They seem to think I'm an idiot, who needs babysitting or something. I'm not weak, I can look after myself goddamn it, I definitely do not need their help keeping me alive I can do that myself thanks. So yeah I was very pissed. 'We need the girl to mature more.' Yeah, well you can go fuck yourself Mr Brunner. He just doesn't understand the concept of fun. Or maybe just living a little while you can. I'm so going to prove him right though. I don't care if pranking is seen as immature the dude deserves it. For-umm-looking at me strangely for an entire week, telling me that I'm not trying hard enough and for being generally suspicious.

And live life I will. The guy should have expected some form of backlash after daring to tell me that I wasn't normal and implying that I was always destined to be kicked out of Yancy Academy. No one insults me like that and gets away with it, favourite teacher or not. I mean come on he saw what I did to the first maths teacher (Who wasn't a fury) after she told me that I wasn't allowed to enter the maths competition despite my amazing score because I was 'too disruptive.' Actually, now I think about it that teacher left really soon after that prank…Back on topic…Mr Brunner got the payback he deserved. The blue, glittery paint, which had been so carefully placed above his desk earlier definitely activated at the perfect time. My mark will always be left on him as a reminder. Because everyone knows, that glitter never comes out. *Insert evil laugh here.* As I always say, revenge, is a dish best served with glitter. Maybe I overreacted. But life is more interesting if you're in a constant state of being melodramatic.

Grover of course got his fair share of glitter as well, but only a bit. The poor lad gets picked on enough as it is, and he's still my best friend. I've just be resigned to the minor pranking…

A bit off topic there...I did warn you. Anyway I will find out what they aren't telling me. And I will find out about this stupid solstice stuff they were talking about. And I will find out why they knew about the damn fury, why they called it a goddamn 'kindly one.' Because if I don't I might have to drown myself…Oh wait…I can't because I can breathe under water…I'll just blow myself up…In the school always hated the stupid academy. But I swear if I don't find out whatever cult they're or just what the hell they were talking about the curiosity will be the cause of my death. Also I will forever continue to tease Grover about the noise he made when my glitter bomb landed on him in the middle of our Latin exam. I so wish that I had gotten a picture of his face as well…maybe next time though.


End file.
